puzzling

My mom loves her a good jigsaw puzzle, and there's always one in progress during Beach Week with our family.

Mom's passion for puzzles makes her the natural spear header.  Translated, that is, she's the poor soul who always dumps out the box contents, gets all the pieces turned right side up, and stays up until the wee hours of the first night, connecting all the border pieces.  She takes one for the team, every time.

If Mom is the leader of Team Puzzle, I am the proverbial coat tail rider.  I pop in after the hard part is done, focusing my efforts on the pieces that can be easily located on the box picture, and placed mostly in the correct location.  And then when we're left to stare at the skies or oceans, I conveniently find something else to do.  There is no fun for me in the seas of solid blue.

I'm just being honest here.

I also confess to being stubborn and falsely sure of myself while hunched over that card table.  When I find the piece that I think is the one, I'm the girl who tries to force it in, certain that if I just push it in a little bit harder, or turn it 180 degrees, it'll match.  It'll fit.  It will.

About a week ago, my friend blogged about advice she'd give to her younger self, and invited readers to do the same.  My advice to my 15-year-old self was this:

"Everything you think you want in 15 years probably isn't what you need.  And when you find that you've gotten what you needed, instead of what you wanted, be happy about it."

It's like the puzzle pieces.  I'm insistent that I know what the right piece looks like.  And Mom gives me the not it, not gonna happen look.

And then when I do find the one -- the real one -- that slides in easily and naturally, it never looks the way I thought it would.  I can't count the number of times I've said to Mom, "Huh, who knew it'd look like that?"

Today I learned that something I thought was a done deal, in fact is not.  And it's okay, because sometimes the thing I think is right, even if it seems to need a little forcing, isn't always what I need.

When I do find the scenario that's the one I need, instead of the one I want, I'll be saying, "Huh, who knew it'd look like that?"

And I'll be happy about it.