to carter, on the occasion of your tenth

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step."
-- Lao Tzu 

Dear Carter Christopher,

So much changes in one year, and so much stays the same. Your latest growth spurt has put you at 100 lbs on the scale, and at nearly my eye level, and I'm altogether alarmed by this reality.

On the other hand, your eyes still bear your soul, ask your questions, and reveal your feels, as they always have.

You started fourth grade this very week, and gratefully, you still love school and learning. You've got a favorite buddy in your class, and it has been tender to watch the seeds of that friendship start to grow. I know we're totally depraved people, but I see in you the capacity to be a kind and trustworthy friend, and we hope for rich and fruitful friendships in your life.

Speaking of school, when Lukey started kindergarten last year, you gave him sage advice that only a big brother could give: Just follow directions, do your work, and have fun playing on the playgrounds. He's lucky to have you looking out for him.

You two welcomed a puppy to the fold at Christmas. You've always been a natural with the neighborhood pups, and it's fun to watch you with your own.

When I came to visit you this spring, you asked me if I'd like to "check out your athletic skills." That was an easy yes, and we played basketball at "the hoop" in your neighborhood. You also took a leap and played on a flag football team this summer, never taking the field without your official Georgia Bulldog receiver gloves.

I'm proud of you for trying new things, especially when you're nervous at first.

And my goodness, the sports. You memorize the ESPN news ticker without effort, and you pore over baseball card collections from two generations before you. You don't miss an opportunity to comment on playoffs or championships or tournament brackets in any discipline.

This isn't new, but it's worth noting: Your mom and dad continue to be so faithful in persevering as your parents. They advocate for you and encourage you and engage with you about all sorts of things going on in your heart and mind. They're still wild for you.

They'll look back on this year and want to remember these things.

I'd describe Carter's personality with these few words:
mom: Gentle, kind, inquisitive, loving.
dad: 99% boy, 1% his mom's snuggle buddy.

Carter is most grown-up when he ...
mom: Curls himself up and gets lost in a book.
dad: Is putting on deodorant. 😭

Carter was proudest this year when he ...
mom: Completed his swimming program that he has worked on for 2.5 years.
dad: Finally graduated to Elite Fish status and got his trophy for finishing swim lessons. 

My proudest moment as a parent this past year was ...
mom: When Carter learned a new boy was starting school with him. He was so excited to meet him. We reminded him about what it was like to be new and to be extra-kind and inclusive. Turns out Carter and the new boy got along great and quickly became friends. Two weeks later, I met the boy's father who made a point to tell me that his son talked about how kind Carter was to him on the first day and days that followed. This boy, whose name is Ethan, is now one of Carter's closest friends. Every day the last thing I tell my kids is, "be kind." I'm glad to know they are listening.
dad: When Carter welcomed a new kid to his class in the middle of the school year. His teacher gave him responsibility to help this classmate get adjusted. He took initiative to develop a friendship with him. They are best friends now.

Carter's best qualities are:
mom: His kind heart and his desire to learn.
dad: His curiosity, his kindness, his innocence, his persistence.

The hardest question Carter asked me/us this year was ...
mom: When will Covid be gone? When can things go back to normal?
dad: Why isn't anyone passing me the ball? That was after 3 flag football games and no balls thrown his direction.

After his tenth birthday, I'm most looking forward to ...
mom: Watching him gain more confidence in who he is and who he can become.
dad: Watching how his desire for sports participation evolves.

When I consider your single decade in this world, it is somehow both short and long. Time has flown, but there is deep satisfaction and reward in watching you grow.

It seems like only a few miles, and yet a lot of little steps.

We're so proud of the things you've tried, the steps you've taken. New books, unfamiliar sports, cooking camp, caring for a puppy, and even initiating friendship.

These are all steps in a journey of a thousand miles, and it's a joy to be on the journey with you, Little Man.

Happy tenth. We adore you, still.

to luke, on the occasion of your sixth

 "Remember to smile."
-- Nelson Mandela

Dear Luke Taylor,

While I was in your town this past week for work, I got to swing by your house for a quick (outdoor) visit. I climbed out of the car, asked you what was new, and you said, Well. Only four more days until my birthday.

And indeed, here we are. You are six!

A year ago, your birthday party was cancelled because of the pandemic (I won't address this again, because it is old news and tiring), and this year may also be understated. But you did have a guess for me about what might play out: Probably all my presents will be LEGOs.

This year you have developed quite a knack for building and creating those kits, and it's fulfilling to see you accomplish projects like these.

You and your brother were surprised this past Christmas with your new pup, Teddy. You enjoy him so, and I think he likes you too.

For all his cute, Teddy will never compete with your big brother. He's still your favorite. This is a broken record, but there are worse broken records to endure.

You started kindergarten this year, and although there are many things about it that you are smitten with, you have thoroughly enjoyed learning to read. The wonder of language is never lost on me, and it's a delight to see your eyes light up when you sound out a new word or finish a book. Books and stories and characters will expand your world for a lifetime, and I hope you never stop imagining what's behind the words on those pages.

You also are venturing into t-ball, which is a thrill. Your team is the Trash Pandas, and you are very pleased with your uniform. You are fast, so base-running might be your forte. We'll see. What I do know is that our family has single-handedly contributed to an uptick in merchandise sales of the (actual) Trash Pandas minor league team. We are all in.

Here are a few things your mom and dad will want to remember about your sixth year:

I'd describe Luke's personality with these few words:
mom: Competitive, brave, determined, loving, stubborn.
dad: Trash Panda.

Luke is happiest when he ...
mom: Is with Carter.
dad: Is running around outside or playing Legos with Carter.

Luke is not-so-charming when he ...
mom: Whines and complains in an attempt to get his way or when he is bored.
dad: Is asked to eat a vegetable.

My proudest moment as a parent this past year was ...
mom: Watching him learn to read and really enjoy it.
dad: When Luke told me we should give food and drink to someone on the side of the road who was asking for it. So we did.

One time this past year when I thought I was going to lose my mind was ...
mom: Both times we were quarantined for Covid. Luke is a social kid. Isolation is not great for him.
dad: Either when he pooped on the bathroom floor, or when he pushed a bowl of corn onto the floor breaking the bowl (see above comment about vegetables).

Luke's best qualities are ...
mom: He is very loving and affectionate. He's a great helper.
dad: His willingness to try new things; speaking his mind; his desire to finish; his excitement for just about everything.

My heart broke a little bit this past year when ...
mom: He had trouble with a friend at school. He just couldn't understand why the relationship changed and why someone was being unkind to him.
dad: He came home and told us that one his buddies at school told him he didn't want to be friends anymore. First dose of rejection.

I laugh out loud when Luke ...
mom: Gets talking about what's on his mind and just doesn't stop. We went on a walk once, and he barely let me say one word. He also does an epic eye roll for someone so young.
dad: Dances. And when he told me we should get Mom a dress from Lowe's for her birthday.

After his sixth birthday, I'm most looking forward to ...
mom: Watching him continue to be his own person. He spends a lot of time doing what Carter wants to do because Carter is his favorite person, but I've seen him slowly developing his own thoughts and opinions, and I'm eager to hear them and where that might lead him.
dad: Trying new sports, and continuing to find his own voice in our family.

One of the high low-lights of the past year was a dental emergency where your teeth were literally knocked out of your mouth.

Look, it wasn't fun in the moment, but you handled it like a champ. You told me earlier this week that your family's goal for this year was "to keep all your teeth in your mouth."

Here's hoping, Lukey, because your smile is killer. You are exuberant and cheerful and jovial, and I can't imagine the world without your signature grin.

Happy Sixth, Littlest. We sure do love you and your smile.