civility

Back in December, I read Choosing Civility by P.M. Forni.  The author is a professor at Johns Hopkins University, and he has spent much of his career studying the significance of civility – how it’s defined, how it’s misunderstood, and how it looks in real life.

It was fascinating.

How do you define civility?  Minding manners?  Following the Golden Rule?  Respecting authority?  Honoring your elders?  Speaking kindly?

I thought all those things qualified as civil behavior.  And they do.

But they don’t define it.

Civility is understanding that every word spoken, and each action executed, has consequences for those living around and in community with us.  With a little bit of foresight, we can conduct ourselves in a way that allows us to live well among others.

At its core, civility is an expression of love. 

Today I traveled to Raleigh, North Carolina, and I’m here to tell you, air travel is where rules of civility are tested beyond imagination.  In Nikol’s words, “I’ve about had my fill of humanity.”

Stay with me, because my goal is to find expressions of civility – seek them out – and share about them on this blog, because civility is good.  It is right.  It is Godly.  It should be recognized.

But after today, I’ll have to share about lessons learned in incivility.  I have to start somewhere.

1.      If you are jamming to tunes on your headphones at the flight gate, and people around you are giving you questioning looks, your volume is too loud.  For the love of all that’s right and good in the world, scale it back.

2.      For all you folks who refuse to check bags, when your “carry-on” doesn’t fit in the overhead bin, newsflash: You hold up the boarding process in unnecessarily annoying ways.  And when you have to return back down the aisle, past all the poor souls in Zones 4 and 5, “bottleneck” doesn’t begin to describe that scenario.

3.      I’ve read that in the world of airplane etiquette, you don’t have to ask permission of the person behind you to recline your plane seat.  Given that civility is about understanding the consequences of your actions as they relate to others, I wholeheartedly disagree.  A polite heads up is considerate.  Heads can be whacked.

4.      It’s just. Not. Necessary.  To have your cell phone on the loudest volume setting while waiting to deplane.  There is wisdom in moderation.

5.      Baggage Claim.  Oh, Baggage Claim, why must you bring out the worst in people?  Friends, note that at baggage claim, every person standing at your carousel is also waiting for a bag, with their own destination, after a long day of travel.  Inconsiderate cut-offs don’t spread the love.

What about you?  Tell me your air travel civility (or incivility) stories.  Come on.  You know you’ve got ‘em.

And keep checking back, because I know there's some civility out there to be shared.

I'm looking forward to finding it!