chuck e. cheese: the anniversary edition

Yesterday, the Little was scheduled to come over for Christmas decorating and card stuffing (call me a slave driver, but I like to encourage productivity during our quality time; life's not always about ice cream and movies, you know).  Unfortunately, she came down with a nasty bug, so decorating didn't happen, and I also have no fun pics to share, as I'd planned.

Instead, and as previously promised, I am posting my recap of our outing to the great Chuck E. Cheese's from exactly one year ago.

Despite my insistence to not be, I was that adult in Chuck E. Cheese’s tonight. You know the one. She is the excessive token provider. (Tokens seemed so much more expensive when I was seven!) He is the keeper of the ticket wads. (Don’t you remember wondering how those families won so many tickets?)

Collectively, they are the enablers and supporters of Kid Vegas.

Yes, I met the Little nearly two years ago. And yes, one of her very first outing suggestions was to visit Chuck E. Cheese's. And yes, I’ve avoided this (not really) innocent wish for that long. Sure, we’ve had some memorable outings: dying Easter eggs; the park; The Nutty Nutcracker last Christmas; her first manicure for her 9th birthday; the list goes on. But as we are approaching our two-year match anniversary, the guilt had really just become too much. Chuck E. Cheese’s had to be done. Tonight was the night.

So, in case you’re wondering, not much has changed in 20+ years at the Chuck. The parent to child ratio is still alarming. The parents’ supervision of said children is minimal, at best. The “prizes” are still made from the cheapest materials known to man. If there are any posted rules there (I didn’t see any), one of them is not, “No running allowed.” And, from my experience as a sort-of event planner, the traffic flow in the gaming areas is really tragic.

On the other hand, my perspective has changed a great deal over the last 20+ years. Here’s what I learned:

1. Kids are taught very early to value “stuff.” They’re not in it for the games; they’re in it for those plastic prizes.
 
2. Kids instinctively find ways to work less for more reward. Those games that have a “jackpot” opportunity (i.e., 250 tickets) with the single push of a “no whammy” button have the longest lines.
 
3. Speaking of devaluing work, did you know you don’t even have to count tickets and do old-fashioned math anymore? They have machines to do that for you now.
 
4. The real prize goes to those employees, who wait so, so patiently behind the Counter of Plastic Prize Goodness as sugar-high patrons mentally calculate every possible combination of prizes that equals 874 tickets.
 
5. Not all of those ticket wads people carry around are earned honestly. Of our 874 tickets, about 540 of them were machine errors. That is not an exaggeration.
 
6. There are people (usually between the ages of 12 and 14) who spend a lot of time at the Chuck and know the tricks to those aforementioned jackpots. If you see them, act impressed, and ask them for the secret, because they tell you, and you can win the jackpot too. We did.

I have to admit, on the fun scale, this outing was around a 7 for me, much higher than was anticipated. The pizza wasn’t as tasty as I remembered, and the “shows” hardly qualified as entertaining. But I did enjoy a night of observing the next generation, and personally playing for the jackpot a few times for kicks and giggles.

And seeing the Little enjoy herself was kind of nice, too.

What about you parents out there?  What're the stressful places you take your kids?