to luke, on the occasion of your fourth

"From caring comes courage."
-- Lao Tzu

Dear Luke Taylor,

I am on record as favoring ages two to five, so these days, you're in my sweet spot.

I'm enamored watching you learn language and expression. I'm on fire, you told me, when you were "winning" a "game" of Go Fish with your brother. I have not stopped laughing.

It's possible you're developing a little swagger.

You're for sure a walking verbal processor. At any given time, you offer a running commentary of everything you see, everything you think, and everything that is happening in your midst.

Let it be known that you will not be one to leave anything unsaid.

You're particular about lots of topics, your clothes being at the top of the list. No collared shirts, no button-ups, and if the shirt you do wear has the slightest hole, off it comes. (This is true for pants, too, but we're maintaining dignity here.)



Your sleeping positions suggest that having such strong opinions takes a toll.

You're a challenger, to be sure. Specifically, you push your big brother's buttons like no one else. Car trips with the two of you within arm's length of one another are, frankly, brutal.

But you comfort him like no one else, too. It's okay, Little Buddy, you tell him, when he feels afraid, anxious, or when he's hurt.

Here's what your mom and dad have to say about this past year:

I'd describe Luke's personality with these few words:
mom: Loving, stubborn, joyful, particular, shy.
dad: He likes to dress up as a construction worker with a cape and a pirate hat on ... and thinks it's cool.

 

Luke is happiest when he ...
mom: Is exploring/playing with his brother, or when you tell him Dad is home from work!
dad: Is with his brother.

Luke is not-so-charming when he ...
mom: Doesn't get his way. There is a lot of whining and stomping of feet.
dad: Throws around a bunch of attitude about what he will and will not wear in the morning. It's not pretty.

My proudest moment as Luke's parent this past year was ...
mom: When Carter got hurt and was in a ton of pain, Luke stayed by his side rubbing his head. He has a caring heart.
dad: When Carter hit his mouth on the chest upstairs and was crying and bleeding. He was laying against me while I was stopping the bleeding and checking to see how bad his mouth was. Luke came right over and sat next to Carter and rubbed his head and his chest until he calmed down. I should also add how proud I was for how he handled getting tubes in his ears. He took on everything with such courage.

One time this past year when I thought I was going to lose my mind was ...
mom: When we discovered Luke emptying paint onto our neighbors' wall-to-wall carpet. They miraculously still talk to us. I don't know why.
dad: When I came back into the bathroom with Luke's towel to get him out of the shower and he was holding "what just came out of my bottom" and rinsing it off in the water. Let that marinate.

Luke's best qualities are ...
mom: He loves people well with his actions and words. He often tells us he loves us, unprompted. We could be driving down the road and out of nowhere, "Hey Mom ... I love you!"

 

He can also show a grateful heart, which is pretty rare for someone so young. He will thank us for things (new shoes, new toy, new experience) that he is really excited about. His excitement for life is pretty fun to watch too! He loves to laugh and run and play!
dad: His "wide openness;" his desire to be loved; his playfulness; and his smile.

I was surprised this past year when Luke ...
mom: Became really invested in learning his letters and their sounds. Also when he writes his name by himself.
dad: Started singing and dancing to songs in the car and at home.

I laugh out loud when Luke ...
mom: Calls Carter his Little Buddy!
dad: Yells "Leeeeeeeet's Blaze!" when he wants to start running faster.

After his fourth birthday, I'm most looking forward to ...
mom: Watching his unique personality develop further.
dad: Seeing him learn to ride a bike.

So it is: You're proving to be one who doesn't hold back. When you run, it's full speed; when you make a decision, it's unyielding; when you speak, it's urgent; when you misbehave, it's mischievous; and when you play, you're in it to win it.

Early indicators suggest you might grow up to be bold and edgy and stubborn, and people say those are the courageous ones, the ones who change the world.

But I see your growing tenderness and kindness and gratitude and compassion, and I think those are are the real seeds of courage.

It's funny, when your brother was this same age, he had a quirky wink that was actually symptomatic of struggling eyesight. In your case this year, you were asking for speaker volumes to be set at levels so loud it drove us all batty. It turns out, you had so much fluid on your ears, hearing was hard.

You showed me your "bad ear" and said you were going to get it fixed, and indeed, you were brave heading to the doctor's office, and I suspect you'll be brave a million more times in this life.

But being brave won't always mean doing something you dread, or instant gratification, or healing, or accolades, and it'll never mean the absence of fear.

Sometimes it'll mean doing the unpopular thing, or being kind to an outcast, or comforting someone who's hurting.

And early indicators also suggest you might just have the kind of courage that grows from those seeds of caring.

I hope you never stop caring, Littlest.

 

Happy fourth, Lukey. You are a gift to us.