-- Alice Walker, The Color Purple
Dear Carter Christopher,
If there is a number that seems like a threshold unlike others before now, seven might be it. Traces of baby continue to be cast off, and glimpses of boyhood are peeking through.
Your hair is still light and laced with a touch of strawberry, and those hip glasses of yours still frame the open windows to your soul, but chubby cheeks and baby belly are nowhere to be found.
Your heart is still tender and sensitive, and the introvert in me loves it so much that you request time by yourself, to be away from Lukey's wild
That one's still got a
Meanwhile, your mind is in overdrive most of the time, learning, imagining, questioning, considering. Not long ago, you mentioned that you would forgo marriage one day, so you and Lukey could "be like the Wright Brothers and invent things instead."
#lifegoals, I say.
You're emerging as this wonderful mix of sensitive and cerebral, of thoughtful and thinking, of creative and curious. I hope you always manage to be both/and.
Some days, your mom and dad wonder if they'll survive this lifelong parenting gig, but I want you to know they are so good at it, and so fully present with you, even when they feel like there isn't an ounce of energy left.
Here are a few thoughts they have about this past year:
I'd describe Carter's personality with these few words:
mom: Soooo curious, friendly, creative, sweet.
dad: Inquisitive, imaginative, tender-hearted.
Carter is happiest when he ...
mom: Is wrestling with his dad and brother, exploring in nature, or creating a new invention.
dad: Is snuggling with his momma.
Carter is not-so-charming when he ...
mom: Fights with his brother!
dad: Hits, kicks, and teases his brother.
My proudest moment as a parent this past year was ...
mom: Watching how proud he was of himself when he passed his swim level. This was huge because just 3 years ago, he fell in water over his head and subsequently was terribly fearful of swimming for a long time after. Through private swim lessons, aquatic PT, and lots more group lessons he has overcome all his fear and loves the pool. He now is excited to learn butterfly!
dad: Finding Carter helping Luke get his shoes on completely on his own. Seeing little glimpses of compassion and helpfulness is insanely encouraging.
(Those goggles are my favorite.)
Carter's best qualities are ...
mom: His mind and his heart. He is very curious and eager to learn all the things. He holds onto information in a way that is beyond amazing. He is loving to me in such a sweet way. He still will hold my hand, ask to snuggle, and lately he has been asking for mommy/Carter talk time. He has a gentle and sensitive heart.
dad: His laugh, his dance moves, and his desire to be loved.
My heart broke a little bit this past year when ...
mom: He came home from school and told me they had a drill where they hid in the closet from bad guys. I don't know how to talk to him about the world we live in without scaring him terribly. Being a parent these days is not for the faint of heart.
dad: He struggled to get in the door to school in the mornings.
The hardest question Carter asked me/us this year was ...
mom: Are you going to die someday? Am I going to die? This year had some really sad moments of loss. He did not take them lightly. It was painful to watch him process the hard/scary parts of life and death.
dad: Is Satan around us all the time? Does everyone die? What if Jesus doesn't have time for me? Take your pick.
After his seventh birthday, I'm most looking forward to ...
mom: All the new things he will teach me. Inevitably, he asks me questions each day I don't know the answer to and have to look up. His mind is always working. I'm just trying to keep up.
dad: Seeing him make a solid friend or two that he can bond with.
This year has passed like a freight train, fast and sometimes thundering, because when a tender heart like yours begins to contemplate this broken world, there's a collision of sorts. You're wondering why in the world things here just don't make sense sometimes.
Recently I heard a chaplain of a children's hospital teach about ministering to the patients under his spiritual care. His number one piece of advice was to wonder aloud with them.
Rather than ask questions that could be awkward, or offer trite platitudes, he said to genuinely consider, I wonder how you must be feeling ... Or with the parents, I wonder how you're processing ...
This counsel resonated with me, because when we wonder, we don't have answers; all we have are the humility to consider someone or something outside ourselves, and the hopeful possibility to connect.
For your seventh birthday, I'm asking the Lord to take this mind of yours that wonders about inventions, and creation, and hard truths, and lead it to also wonder more about Jesus, and who he is, and why he loves you to pieces.
And I hope that when you wonder, you'll come to believe what's really true:
There is death, but it has lost its sting to a King who has conquered it.
There is an enemy, but he's been defeated by a victorious Warrior.
Our hearts can hurt, but we have hope in eternal healing.
In our times of fear and loneliness, there is a Father who's right there, and will not leave. Ever.
This is the kind of wonder that'll change your world. I want that for you.
Happy Seventh, Little Man. We love watching you wonder.
