to carter, on the occasion of your eleventh

"Be who you are and say how you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."

-- Dr. Seuss

Dear Carter Christopher,

There are three memories from the past year that will mark for me the year that I said to myself, My goodness, he is coming into his own.

1 On our beach vacation this summer, you told an original joke (or so you claimed). Typing it here would fall flat, because it could never match your delivery that had me in tears. You held the room without trying and released the punchline with perfect timing. You wanted to be funny, and you were. It was legitimate humor that made me so proud, because one day you'll understand that good humor can carry you through a heap of hard times.

2 You and Lukey helped to purchase your own Gizmo watches, which means you now have a phone number entered into my phone. Your profile was listed as "Little Man," and when you saw this, you said, Ughhh. I don't like that. And so, you're now just Carter in my phone. It was a little sad for me - I've called you LM since you were in utero - but you're growing up, and you get to decide what nicknames you like or don't like. I'm glad you told me.

3 You played on a flag football team that was reminiscent of the Bad News Bears. You won exactly one game, and I think it was the very last one. Mid-season, you told me how terrible the team was, and I appreciate that you owned it, with no sugar-coating, and persevered anyway. You'll have to do that many times over this side of heaven, so it's good that you're learning that now.

Your mom and dad have some memories from this year, too, and it's important that we document them, because sometimes it's hard to stop and remember moments that matter.

I'd describe Carter's personality with these few words:
mom: Curious and kind.
dad: A walking encyclopedia who thinks he's funny.

Carter is most grown-up when he ...
mom: Talks to anyone about sports. He has an encyclopedic knowledge.
dad: Takes the time to speak to and give attention to the 3-year-old neighbor kids.

Carter was proudest this year when he ...
mom: Completed his first ever 5k.
dad: Caught a pass for a 2-point conversation to help his flag football team win a game.

My proudest moment as a parent this past year was ...

mom: When a parent told me how well-mannered and courteous Carter was when he was visiting their home, and how they enjoyed having him over.

dad: Carter apologizing to a friend for things he was sorry for.

Carter's best qualities are:
mom: His excitement for life, his gentle nature around small children, his love for animals, his ability to ask why, his desire to learn.
dad: His gentleness and kindness, his imagination, his perseverance.

The hardest question Carter asked me/us this year was ...
mom: Can I stop [alopecia] treatment? It was painful to him. We realized he was old enough to have a say in his medical care.
dad: Regarding his value when he was feeling worthless.

After his eleventh birthday, I'm most looking forward to ...
mom: More big kid experiences with him.
dad: Our first camping experience.

This is a part of growing up: to be who you are and to say what you feel, and it's such fun to watch you do that. You are thoughtful in how you think, articulate in how you express yourself, curious in how you approach the world, honest in how you process it, and gentle in how you interact with others.

Next year, you'll likely have surpassed my height, but I suspect your heart will have grown, too, and we love watching it all.

Cheers to eleven. We love you.