that makes a life worth living."
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes
Dear Luke Taylor,
This smirk of yours. Sometimes it's sweet, sometimes it's sassy, sometimes it's shy, and sometimes it's just straight swagger. But it's always enthusiastic.
These days, you are not mysterious; we all know where you stand about everything. If your emotions and expressions don't tell us, your mouth does.
You're competitive. While we're playing games, you'll proclaim with confidence, I'm dominating you! or, I'm the Champion of the World!
You like to be in charge. While we played trains in your room one day, you were pretty particular about my role in the game. You sure are bossy, I said. Well you're in my room, you fired back.
You love school. In particular, you enjoy practicing your letters and numbers with meticulous precision. You might be developing a small bent toward perfectionism. If that's the case, we'll be friends forever.
You're determined. When your brother tossed the training wheels on his bike, you did too. You set your mind on things, and then you make them happen.
One day while you both were out riding, your dad was taking video footage, and while he was focused on Carter, you yelled from the background, Dad! Are you proud of me? He twice promised yes, but it wasn't enough.
You wanted to hear him say the words, Yes! I'm proud of you!
He is, over and over again, and yet I love your raw, passionate, unrelenting ask.
Your mom and dad really are proud of you:
I'd describe Luke's personality with these few words:
mom: Brave, competitive, shy, and sweet.
dad: Me: "Luke, why are you so crazy?" Luke: "That's just what I do."
Luke is happiest when he ...
mom: Is with Carter.
dad: Is with Carter.
Luke is not-so-charming when he ...
mom: Whines when he is bored.
dad: Whines, throws fits. Every time.
My proudest moment as a parent this past year was ...
mom: When he learned to ride his bike, and when he figured out how to swim a lap of the pool freestyle and backstroke. I like watching him work to achieve things he really wants to do.
dad: Watching Luke in his Christmas program at school.
One time this past year when I thought I was going to lose my mind was ...
mom: Incessant whining during stay at home time during the Coronavirus.
dad: Finding Luke naked in the bathroom with poop all over the bathroom.
Luke's best qualities are ...
mom: How much he loves life, his family, and friends. He is also so brave. He is always willing to try new things.
dad: Unbridled emotion. He's all in on how he feels about something. Loyal brother.
My heart broke a little bit this past year when ...
mom: His teacher sent a note home about a day of bad behavior (highly unusual for him), and he sobbed. He was so upset.
dad: Luke was acting out at home and we found out he was having a hard time dealing with another boy at school that was hitting him. It also breaks my heart every time Carter scolds him for something. It's like your idol crushing your soul.
I laugh out loud when Luke ...
mom: Talks a mile a minute while gesturing with his hand the whole time to make sure you really know what he is talking about.
dad: Has a great story and says things like, "This will burst your head," or "Your head will burst-ed," or "This will explode your brain when I tell you this." Also he is proud to show off his "happy" muscles and "sad" muscles. It's hilarious.
After his fifth birthday, I'm most looking forward to ...
mom: Seeing him go to Big School with his brother. He will be so excited, and I will be thrilled and simultaneously sad.
dad: Seeing how excited Luke will be to walk to school with Carter as a kindergartner.
We spent Halloween together this past fall, and when I tell you there was a monsoon, I mean it. We splashed through puddles going door-to-door in costumes soaking wet, and I loved every minute of it.
Perhaps no more enthusiasm has come from your lips than when, stomping alongside me under my umbrella, you declared, This is the worst! Day! Ever!
It may be the wettest, but it's not the worst, I said.
So it goes, Littlest. Our plans rarely unfold the way we might've scripted, and it's probably not the worst day ever. We bounce back.
As it turns out, I'm writing this to you in one of the wildest times to be alive. We find ourselves navigating the unknowns of a global pandemic and being stripped of all sense of earthly security.
One day we will tell you about how we were afraid for so many things, and also about how our faith in the One True God was the only hope we had. And God willing, we will tell you that while we were reeling, we battled to live out this faith that has not yet been made sight.
But for now, if you remember any of this, I hope it is only that your fifth birthday party didn't happen as planned.
You'll still be celebrated, but you'll hang close around the house, close to the ones who love you and yes, the ones who are proud of you. Maybe you'll run outside with your brother, or ride bikes with your dad. We'll all FaceTime you, and maybe you'll give us more than two minutes of your attention. (It's hard, I know.)
It's a joy to celebrate you and your enthusiasm, and to do our best to model faith for you.
We love you, Littlest. Happy fifth.
