to luke, on the occasion of your sixth

 "Remember to smile."
-- Nelson Mandela

Dear Luke Taylor,

While I was in your town this past week for work, I got to swing by your house for a quick (outdoor) visit. I climbed out of the car, asked you what was new, and you said, Well. Only four more days until my birthday.

And indeed, here we are. You are six!

A year ago, your birthday party was cancelled because of the pandemic (I won't address this again, because it is old news and tiring), and this year may also be understated. But you did have a guess for me about what might play out: Probably all my presents will be LEGOs.

This year you have developed quite a knack for building and creating those kits, and it's fulfilling to see you accomplish projects like these.

You and your brother were surprised this past Christmas with your new pup, Teddy. You enjoy him so, and I think he likes you too.

For all his cute, Teddy will never compete with your big brother. He's still your favorite. This is a broken record, but there are worse broken records to endure.

You started kindergarten this year, and although there are many things about it that you are smitten with, you have thoroughly enjoyed learning to read. The wonder of language is never lost on me, and it's a delight to see your eyes light up when you sound out a new word or finish a book. Books and stories and characters will expand your world for a lifetime, and I hope you never stop imagining what's behind the words on those pages.

You also are venturing into t-ball, which is a thrill. Your team is the Trash Pandas, and you are very pleased with your uniform. You are fast, so base-running might be your forte. We'll see. What I do know is that our family has single-handedly contributed to an uptick in merchandise sales of the (actual) Trash Pandas minor league team. We are all in.

Here are a few things your mom and dad will want to remember about your sixth year:

I'd describe Luke's personality with these few words:
mom: Competitive, brave, determined, loving, stubborn.
dad: Trash Panda.

Luke is happiest when he ...
mom: Is with Carter.
dad: Is running around outside or playing Legos with Carter.

Luke is not-so-charming when he ...
mom: Whines and complains in an attempt to get his way or when he is bored.
dad: Is asked to eat a vegetable.

My proudest moment as a parent this past year was ...
mom: Watching him learn to read and really enjoy it.
dad: When Luke told me we should give food and drink to someone on the side of the road who was asking for it. So we did.

One time this past year when I thought I was going to lose my mind was ...
mom: Both times we were quarantined for Covid. Luke is a social kid. Isolation is not great for him.
dad: Either when he pooped on the bathroom floor, or when he pushed a bowl of corn onto the floor breaking the bowl (see above comment about vegetables).

Luke's best qualities are ...
mom: He is very loving and affectionate. He's a great helper.
dad: His willingness to try new things; speaking his mind; his desire to finish; his excitement for just about everything.

My heart broke a little bit this past year when ...
mom: He had trouble with a friend at school. He just couldn't understand why the relationship changed and why someone was being unkind to him.
dad: He came home and told us that one his buddies at school told him he didn't want to be friends anymore. First dose of rejection.

I laugh out loud when Luke ...
mom: Gets talking about what's on his mind and just doesn't stop. We went on a walk once, and he barely let me say one word. He also does an epic eye roll for someone so young.
dad: Dances. And when he told me we should get Mom a dress from Lowe's for her birthday.

After his sixth birthday, I'm most looking forward to ...
mom: Watching him continue to be his own person. He spends a lot of time doing what Carter wants to do because Carter is his favorite person, but I've seen him slowly developing his own thoughts and opinions, and I'm eager to hear them and where that might lead him.
dad: Trying new sports, and continuing to find his own voice in our family.

One of the high low-lights of the past year was a dental emergency where your teeth were literally knocked out of your mouth.

Look, it wasn't fun in the moment, but you handled it like a champ. You told me earlier this week that your family's goal for this year was "to keep all your teeth in your mouth."

Here's hoping, Lukey, because your smile is killer. You are exuberant and cheerful and jovial, and I can't imagine the world without your signature grin.

Happy Sixth, Littlest. We sure do love you and your smile.

to carter, on the occasion of your ninth

"The world belongs to the people who are curious."
-- Albert Einstein

 

Dear Carter Christopher,

These days, your legs are so long and your questions are so profound that I forget you're only nine. And yet here we are, also wondering how you've grown up so. It's a strange tension.

You are reading like crazy, and your curiosity about animals, science, and space seems to multiply with every book. You read sometimes to Luke, and it's sweet to watch you share those interests with him. He wants to be like you in nearly every way, and your love of books wouldn't be the worst thing to inspire.

The outdoors is still your happy place, especially the pool. You could splash around and dive for toys and wrestle your dad and brother for hours.

You shed those training wheels this year, so bike-riding is a new outdoor favorite. (Of course, Lukey shed his soon after too, because he will not be left behind.)

They say imitation is the best form of flattery, and you do enjoy a bow tie like your dad. The bow tie is cute, but watching you adore your dad is magic.

Speaking of imitation, the Littlest is still enamored with you, and although you have it out with him some days, you humor him mostly. You're learning how to do brotherly love that lasts. I love watching that.

Your mom and dad are so intentional about nurturing your interests, introducing you to new experiences, and helping you learn all that your curious heart desires. Here's how they'll remember this past year:

I'd describe Carter's personality with these few words:
mom: Curious, friendly, kind, sensitive.
dad: Gentle giant, literal Larry.

Carter is most grown-up when he ...
mom: Is deep into a book. He really enjoys reading nonfiction and learning and asking questions.
dad: Is sitting reading a book to Luke.

Carter was proudest this year when he ...
mom: Read a story he wrote in front of a group of parents and classmates. He is very fearful of performing but he did it, and it was wonderful.
dad: Started riding his bike without training wheels.

 

My proudest moment as a parent this past year was ...

mom: When Luke decided he wanted to go off the diving board and needed to swim 25 meters in order to do so. Carter waited for him at the end of the pool, and when Luke completed the lap, Carter ran to him and exclaimed, "Well done!" and pulled him in for a big hug. I want my kids to be cheerleaders for others. This was evidence that he is listening and learning.

dad: Him participating in his fun run at school and reading a book to his class.

 

Carter's best qualities are ...
mom: His desire to learn and then the ability to teach/discuss/question.
dad: His curiosity, his creativity, his loving-kindness.

The hardest question Carter asked me/us this year was ...
mom: After Chris was volunteering at Covid testing centers, he asked if Daddy was going to get sick. His anxious heart was so afraid.
dad: What happens to me if I don't believe in Jesus? Will I go to hell? Or asking about Passover and why God would allow babies to be killed, because he doesn't make mistakes.

After his ninth birthday, I'm most looking forward to ...
mom: Watching him grow in confidence into who he was meant to be.
dad: Carter discovering more about the gifts God has given him and building confidence to try something new.

I don't know what the history books will say about 2020, but they may well record it as the year the world stopped in many ways. In fact, thanks to COVID-19, your second grade class was abruptly thrust into a virtual experience after spring break, and you missed your teacher and classmates terribly.

 

But, your curiosity about the world, your reading, your seeking, and your questions just never stopped. It's a good reminder to me that even when the world around us doesn't make much sense, and even when we might feel uncertain or anxious, there are parts of us that are meant to remain intact.

You have been made by a good Father, who is the most creative Creator, and he makes no mistakes. He formed you exactly the way he intended, and he desires you to become more like him. It's what we hope for.

And, we hope you never stop being curious about him. He's worth every question.

Happy ninth, Little Man. We're (still) crazy about you.

to luke, on the occasion of your fifth

"It's faith in something and enthusiasm for something
that makes a life worth living."
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes

Dear Luke Taylor,

This smirk of yours. Sometimes it's sweet, sometimes it's sassy, sometimes it's shy, and sometimes it's just straight swagger. But it's always enthusiastic.

These days, you are not mysterious; we all know where you stand about everything. If your emotions and expressions don't tell us, your mouth does.

You're competitive. While we're playing games, you'll proclaim with confidence, I'm dominating you! or, I'm the Champion of the World!

You like to be in charge. While we played trains in your room one day, you were pretty particular about my role in the game. You sure are bossy, I said. Well you're in my room, you fired back.

You love school. In particular, you enjoy practicing your letters and numbers with meticulous precision. You might be developing a small bent toward perfectionism. If that's the case, we'll be friends forever.

You're determined. When your brother tossed the training wheels on his bike, you did too. You set your mind on things, and then you make them happen.

One day while you both were out riding, your dad was taking video footage, and while he was focused on Carter, you yelled from the background, Dad! Are you proud of me? He twice promised yes, but it wasn't enough.

You wanted to hear him say the words, Yes! I'm proud of you!

He is, over and over again, and yet I love your raw, passionate, unrelenting ask.

Your mom and dad really are proud of you:

I'd describe Luke's personality with these few words:
mom: Brave, competitive, shy, and sweet.
dad: Me: "Luke, why are you so crazy?" Luke: "That's just what I do."

Luke is happiest when he ...
mom: Is with Carter.
dad: Is with Carter.

Luke is not-so-charming when he ...
mom: Whines when he is bored.
dad: Whines, throws fits. Every time.

My proudest moment as a parent this past year was ...
mom: When he learned to ride his bike, and when he figured out how to swim a lap of the pool freestyle and backstroke. I like watching him work to achieve things he really wants to do.
dad: Watching Luke in his Christmas program at school.

One time this past year when I thought I was going to lose my mind was ...
mom: Incessant whining during stay at home time during the Coronavirus. 
dad: Finding Luke naked in the bathroom with poop all over the bathroom.

Luke's best qualities are ...
mom: How much he loves life, his family, and friends. He is also so brave. He is always willing to try new things.
dad: Unbridled emotion. He's all in on how he feels about something. Loyal brother.

My heart broke a little bit this past year when ...
mom: His teacher sent a note home about a day of bad behavior (highly unusual for him), and he sobbed. He was so upset.
dad: Luke was acting out at home and we found out he was having a hard time dealing with another boy at school that was hitting him. It also breaks my heart every time Carter scolds him for something. It's like your idol crushing your soul.

I laugh out loud when Luke ...
mom: Talks a mile a minute while gesturing with his hand the whole time to make sure you really know what he is talking about.
dad: Has a great story and says things like, "This will burst your head," or "Your head will burst-ed," or "This will explode your brain when I tell you this." Also he is proud to show off his "happy" muscles and "sad" muscles. It's hilarious.

After his fifth birthday, I'm most looking forward to ...
mom: Seeing him go to Big School with his brother. He will be so excited, and I will be thrilled and simultaneously sad.
dad: Seeing how excited Luke will be to walk to school with Carter as a kindergartner.

We spent Halloween together this past fall, and when I tell you there was a monsoon, I mean it. We splashed through puddles going door-to-door in costumes soaking wet, and I loved every minute of it.

Perhaps no more enthusiasm has come from your lips than when, stomping alongside me under my umbrella, you declared, This is the worst! Day! Ever!

It may be the wettest, but it's not the worst, I said.

So it goes, Littlest. Our plans rarely unfold the way we might've scripted, and it's probably not the worst day ever. We bounce back.

As it turns out, I'm writing this to you in one of the wildest times to be alive. We find ourselves navigating the unknowns of a global pandemic and being stripped of all sense of earthly security.

One day we will tell you about how we were afraid for so many things, and also about how our faith in the One True God was the only hope we had. And God willing, we will tell you that while we were reeling, we battled to live out this faith that has not yet been made sight.

But for now, if you remember any of this, I hope it is only that your fifth birthday party didn't happen as planned.

You'll still be celebrated, but you'll hang close around the house, close to the ones who love you and yes, the ones who are proud of you. Maybe you'll run outside with your brother, or ride bikes with your dad. We'll all FaceTime you, and maybe you'll give us more than two minutes of your attention. (It's hard, I know.)

It's a joy to celebrate you and your enthusiasm, and to do our best to model faith for you.

We love you, Littlest. Happy fifth.