to carter, on the occasion of your eleventh

"Be who you are and say how you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."

-- Dr. Seuss

Dear Carter Christopher,

There are three memories from the past year that will mark for me the year that I said to myself, My goodness, he is coming into his own.

1 On our beach vacation this summer, you told an original joke (or so you claimed). Typing it here would fall flat, because it could never match your delivery that had me in tears. You held the room without trying and released the punchline with perfect timing. You wanted to be funny, and you were. It was legitimate humor that made me so proud, because one day you'll understand that good humor can carry you through a heap of hard times.

2 You and Lukey helped to purchase your own Gizmo watches, which means you now have a phone number entered into my phone. Your profile was listed as "Little Man," and when you saw this, you said, Ughhh. I don't like that. And so, you're now just Carter in my phone. It was a little sad for me - I've called you LM since you were in utero - but you're growing up, and you get to decide what nicknames you like or don't like. I'm glad you told me.

3 You played on a flag football team that was reminiscent of the Bad News Bears. You won exactly one game, and I think it was the very last one. Mid-season, you told me how terrible the team was, and I appreciate that you owned it, with no sugar-coating, and persevered anyway. You'll have to do that many times over this side of heaven, so it's good that you're learning that now.

Your mom and dad have some memories from this year, too, and it's important that we document them, because sometimes it's hard to stop and remember moments that matter.

I'd describe Carter's personality with these few words:
mom: Curious and kind.
dad: A walking encyclopedia who thinks he's funny.

Carter is most grown-up when he ...
mom: Talks to anyone about sports. He has an encyclopedic knowledge.
dad: Takes the time to speak to and give attention to the 3-year-old neighbor kids.

Carter was proudest this year when he ...
mom: Completed his first ever 5k.
dad: Caught a pass for a 2-point conversation to help his flag football team win a game.

My proudest moment as a parent this past year was ...

mom: When a parent told me how well-mannered and courteous Carter was when he was visiting their home, and how they enjoyed having him over.

dad: Carter apologizing to a friend for things he was sorry for.

Carter's best qualities are:
mom: His excitement for life, his gentle nature around small children, his love for animals, his ability to ask why, his desire to learn.
dad: His gentleness and kindness, his imagination, his perseverance.

The hardest question Carter asked me/us this year was ...
mom: Can I stop [alopecia] treatment? It was painful to him. We realized he was old enough to have a say in his medical care.
dad: Regarding his value when he was feeling worthless.

After his eleventh birthday, I'm most looking forward to ...
mom: More big kid experiences with him.
dad: Our first camping experience.

This is a part of growing up: to be who you are and to say what you feel, and it's such fun to watch you do that. You are thoughtful in how you think, articulate in how you express yourself, curious in how you approach the world, honest in how you process it, and gentle in how you interact with others.

Next year, you'll likely have surpassed my height, but I suspect your heart will have grown, too, and we love watching it all.

Cheers to eleven. We love you.

to luke, on the occasion of your seventh

 "The world belongs to the energetic."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Dear Luke Taylor, 

This was the year you lost teeth, chopped your bangs, played tee-ball, competed on a swim team, joined a flag football league, constructed thousands of LEGOs, went to first grade, (unknowingly) charmed lots of little girls, and remained in what seemed to be a constant state of motion. 

During a flag football game water break, you said to your dad, breathless, Wonder what activity is next? He noted that you sounded out of breath, to which you responded, But not out of energy.

If there was ever a summary of how you experience the world, it is that.

Maybe my favorite thing about you these days is your imagination. You have a knack for creating basketball or football games in your mind while you play them out as a one-man act. You're the coach, the referee, the play-by-play announcer, and multiple players, all at once. It's something to behold.

When you tell us about these contests, you talk about how they happen "in your world," and "not in the real world." Goodness gracious, I laugh at how you dream. What a gift.

If your mind is active, your mouth is hyperactive. Your words come freely and without filter, and if you weren't so dang funny, you'd drive us all bananas.

You still love your brother to pieces, and he loves you, and that means you fight some, too. But mostly, I think you two are as thick as thieves when it counts.

For better or worse, Lukey, you are the baby of the family, and your mom and dad are both eager and sad to see you grow up so big.

Here are a few things they'll remember from this year.

I'd describe Luke's personality with these few words:
mom: Strong-willed, competitive, loving, brave, joyful, energetic.
dad: Toothless chatterbox in perpetual motion.

Luke is happiest when he ...
mom: Is outside.
dad: Is outside playing.

Luke is not-so-charming when he ...
mom: Does not get his way or pushes Carter's buttons on purpose.
dad: Slams doors in anger.

My proudest moment parenting Luke this past year was ...
mom: Watching his push for independence. He has been ready to do many things solo, long before my mom heart was ready for it.
dad: When he decided to make a sign on his own to cheer on Carter and me for our 5k. 

Luke's best qualities are:
mom: He is helpful, snuggly, thoughtful, and loving.
dad: His energy and his helpfulness.

My heart broke a little bit this past year when ...
mom: Kids were picking on him at the beginning of the school year.
dad: He started being left out of playing with Carter and his friends.

The hardest question Luke asked me/us this year was ...
mom: What do they do with zoo animals when they die?
dad: Why someone wouldn't play with him.

After his seventh birthday, I'm most looking forward to ...
mom: Watching his personality, friendships, and interests evolve.
dad: His smile with all of his new teeth.

Just yesterday, you had a birthday celebration in the green space near your house that included an oversized bouncy house, twenty-something children from your class and neighborhood, and a few fans of yours who share your last name. 

Every time a new guest arrived, you ran full speed to them, greeted them with excitement, and thanked them for coming to your party.

I could have cried every time you did, because you are joyful and enthusiastic and captivated by the world and its experiences in a way that is pure and true.

And this is how life is with you. Everything to you is wonderful. We're just glad to be in your wonderful world.

Happy seventh, Lukey. We love you and every ounce of your energy.

to carter, on the occasion of your tenth

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step."
-- Lao Tzu 

Dear Carter Christopher,

So much changes in one year, and so much stays the same. Your latest growth spurt has put you at 100 lbs on the scale, and at nearly my eye level, and I'm altogether alarmed by this reality.

On the other hand, your eyes still bear your soul, ask your questions, and reveal your feels, as they always have.

You started fourth grade this very week, and gratefully, you still love school and learning. You've got a favorite buddy in your class, and it has been tender to watch the seeds of that friendship start to grow. I know we're totally depraved people, but I see in you the capacity to be a kind and trustworthy friend, and we hope for rich and fruitful friendships in your life.

Speaking of school, when Lukey started kindergarten last year, you gave him sage advice that only a big brother could give: Just follow directions, do your work, and have fun playing on the playgrounds. He's lucky to have you looking out for him.

You two welcomed a puppy to the fold at Christmas. You've always been a natural with the neighborhood pups, and it's fun to watch you with your own.

When I came to visit you this spring, you asked me if I'd like to "check out your athletic skills." That was an easy yes, and we played basketball at "the hoop" in your neighborhood. You also took a leap and played on a flag football team this summer, never taking the field without your official Georgia Bulldog receiver gloves.

I'm proud of you for trying new things, especially when you're nervous at first.

And my goodness, the sports. You memorize the ESPN news ticker without effort, and you pore over baseball card collections from two generations before you. You don't miss an opportunity to comment on playoffs or championships or tournament brackets in any discipline.

This isn't new, but it's worth noting: Your mom and dad continue to be so faithful in persevering as your parents. They advocate for you and encourage you and engage with you about all sorts of things going on in your heart and mind. They're still wild for you.

They'll look back on this year and want to remember these things.

I'd describe Carter's personality with these few words:
mom: Gentle, kind, inquisitive, loving.
dad: 99% boy, 1% his mom's snuggle buddy.

Carter is most grown-up when he ...
mom: Curls himself up and gets lost in a book.
dad: Is putting on deodorant. 😭

Carter was proudest this year when he ...
mom: Completed his swimming program that he has worked on for 2.5 years.
dad: Finally graduated to Elite Fish status and got his trophy for finishing swim lessons. 

My proudest moment as a parent this past year was ...
mom: When Carter learned a new boy was starting school with him. He was so excited to meet him. We reminded him about what it was like to be new and to be extra-kind and inclusive. Turns out Carter and the new boy got along great and quickly became friends. Two weeks later, I met the boy's father who made a point to tell me that his son talked about how kind Carter was to him on the first day and days that followed. This boy, whose name is Ethan, is now one of Carter's closest friends. Every day the last thing I tell my kids is, "be kind." I'm glad to know they are listening.
dad: When Carter welcomed a new kid to his class in the middle of the school year. His teacher gave him responsibility to help this classmate get adjusted. He took initiative to develop a friendship with him. They are best friends now.

Carter's best qualities are:
mom: His kind heart and his desire to learn.
dad: His curiosity, his kindness, his innocence, his persistence.

The hardest question Carter asked me/us this year was ...
mom: When will Covid be gone? When can things go back to normal?
dad: Why isn't anyone passing me the ball? That was after 3 flag football games and no balls thrown his direction.

After his tenth birthday, I'm most looking forward to ...
mom: Watching him gain more confidence in who he is and who he can become.
dad: Watching how his desire for sports participation evolves.

When I consider your single decade in this world, it is somehow both short and long. Time has flown, but there is deep satisfaction and reward in watching you grow.

It seems like only a few miles, and yet a lot of little steps.

We're so proud of the things you've tried, the steps you've taken. New books, unfamiliar sports, cooking camp, caring for a puppy, and even initiating friendship.

These are all steps in a journey of a thousand miles, and it's a joy to be on the journey with you, Little Man.

Happy tenth. We adore you, still.